This morning, I walked right past him, rushing to whatever task I was wanting to accomplish. But then I heard this weak, soft whimper, looked down at him amidst a sea of blankets, and thought, What could I possibly have to do right now that's more important than stopping and rocking this perfect boy?
And so that's what I did. I parked myself in the recliner at Haven 1, and I spent my day marveling at this tiny creation. I fed him, I burped him, I sang to him, he fell asleep on my chest, and then we did it all over again and again.
I could work all day and never run out of things to do here. There is always a baby to rock, a class to teach, a bottle to wash, a need to fill. And admittedly I spend way too much of my time consumed and overwhelmed with all there is to do. My wise mother told me when she was here that I needed to be better about just smelling the roses. She was exactly right, as mothers usually are.
Today, I think the Spirit urged me to just stop. To stop looking at the need at large, but to just look at one, tiny, vulnerable little need and do something for him. I constantly have to fight the temptation to spend the whole time I'm rocking him thinking about what else I need to be doing, which medicine hasn't been filled yet, who's crying in the other room, who else needs me.
And I don't think I'm alone in this problem. There is so much need in our world that it can be exhausting just thinking about it and deciding where to start. So we do nothing instead. Because what would it matter if we helped just one? But it matters. It has to. I'm hinging my life on that fact, that even though we can't help everyone and we can't change the orphan crisis entirely, we can sure change the world for the ones put in our lives. And our prayer is that maybe those will go on and have a heart for orphans and pass that love on when they grow up.
Obviously I can't spend all my days just snuggling Nelson, as much as I'd love that. There are others that need and deserve that same kind of attention. But today I'm glad I stopped for Nelson, and I hope his mama was watching from heaven, assured that we're doing our best to love her baby like she would have.
"Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world."
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu