|Jenson, 2 days old|
5 weeks old
It's not that I'm not sad. I don't think any of us who hold death so closely could even begin to describe the depth of emotion that goes way beyond sadness. But there is just such a fierce desire in those waiting moments to see God do what He does best. Create beauty from ashes. Restore the broken. Bring life where once there was death. Sometimes that restoration, that healing, comes only through dying.
I took our baby girl home from the hospital to my house after the doctors said there was nothing else to do but wait. So for two days we waited. And we prayed. And we sang. And we loved.
In the wee hours of the morning this morning, as I sang her the lyrics of Everlasting through choked-back tears, Jenson stopped breathing and the wait was over. I’m grateful for her and where she is now, but I’m so, so broken.