Sunday, September 9, 2012
We buried Adam this morning. A vivacious, lively, ornery toddler on Tuesday night was dead by Thursday morning. It’s impossible to know exactly what happened in his body, but the high fevers and seizures point to possible cerebral malaria or meningitis. He struggled all day Wednesday. Thursday morning at 4:45 we rushed him to a mission hospital about 30 minutes away. He vomited and seized on the way there, and I thanked God over and over again for this vehicle He has provided, allowing us to at least attempt to get our babies to the best medical care available for them. After a few hours, Adam’s body gave out and he finally stopped struggling.
The house mother at Haven 3, Fortune, has fought for Adam’s life so many times during his nearly two years of life. She’s loved him like her own son, and he loved her back. He felt so minimally the loss of his mother because Fortune was right there to pick up where his birth mother left off. Babies that are continually sick spend so much individual time with the aunties, are prayed over so much and worried over, until they become a part of everyone who has ever been a part of their story, who has fought for them and sought the best for them. And then they make it through, walk through the valley of death and come out triumphant, at least for a time. Death is so much harder when they’ve already survived so much, and you think the worst is over.
When we choose to do work like this, we’re basically agreeing to have our hearts ripped out of our chests over and over again. Sometimes it seems crazy. But it is always worth it. It is never a waste of the energy, mental, physical, or spiritual, that you’ve poured out.
So we've buried another life, one that was so treasured and cherished. We’re left with so many questions, but in the end we know God is good. As Fortune, Auntie Mildred, and I drove Adam’s body back to Kalomo, Fortune kept saying, “God’s ways are not our ways.” Amen to that. I’m so grateful that they’re not, too. I still seek to understand, but know that just as His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are also not our thoughts. For now, all we can do is picture Adam in heaven, joined with his mother again, joined with all his friends that have gone before, welcomed by a host of angels, and keep fighting for the ones still with us.We praise His name and trust in His goodness amidst our broken hearts.